Throwing yourself into yet another relationship and you don't know if it's going to head anywhere? Start making some smart choices about the partner you choose.....
Heard the saying "Opposites Attract"? Well that might be true, but do opposites STAY attached? It might be interesting having somebody totally different in your life, but when it comes down to seeing him or her everyday and finding things to talk about, you're gonna find that your conversations will get shorter and shorter, not to mention less and less gripping. Sooner or later, your phone conversations will consist of both of you doing your own stuff, like homework or chatting on the net, and the phone just hanging at your ear like an accessory. You don't have to be alike in every aspect, but sharing the same beliefs, perspective on life, basic characteristics and goals will help in keeping the two of you together, if not joined at the hip, which leads us on to the next issue......
The beginning of your relationship may seem like a dream.... Just the two of you in a world of your own and nobody you, even though you may be walking along Orchard Road on a Saturday evening. This isn't going to last long.. unless you're really intending to shut the rest of your life, and all the people in it, out. Both of you are going to have to acknowledge that you aren't on an isolated island with not a care in the world. Face it, he has his friends, you have yours, and both of you are going to have to meet those friends, and perhaps even get along with them. Also, take heed of warnings your friends might give you too... They can see a lot better than you whether your 'heaven-sent' partner is really 'heaven-sent', whilst you yourself would be too blinded by love to notice.
The total opposite of being inseparable is a situation whereby you two carry on like you aren't attached by hanging out with your own friends five days a week and seeing each other only on the weekend. if you have no common interests and your hobbies bore each other to death, this is not going to contribute to the two of you having a meaningful relationship. Your relationship shouldn't be built on physical intimacy aone...you need to be able to enjpy time together and share hobbies. Quality time together helps make the relationship stronger and the good times together will be memories that KEEP you together. In times of trouble, the happy memories will tide you over. This does NOT mean you have to spend every waking moment in each other's company, but make sure that you don't lead two separate lives.
Everyone has a past... and the past with the "ex" is the worst. However hard you may find it to hear about his or her ex, being open about getting him or her to tell you about past relationships could give you insight into what your own relationship might be like. Don't delude yourself into thinking that you could be different and change everything for him... It's not totally impossible, but keep yourself on your toes if you pick up signs that he's fickle-minded or can't commit.
And again, NO, love will not overcome all obstacles... This isn't some fairytale where everyone lives happily ever after. Problems always crop up and life is never perfect, and if it is, congratulations, you're the 1 out of 100 who has a perfect relationship. For instance, when it comes to the issue of religion, it's important most of the time that you share the same religion. This contributes to the "beliefs" mentioned earlier, and it's always nice to be able to bring your partner to your church or to be able to share your spiritual life with him. If you have different religions and one is unwilling to convert to the other's religion, it could trigger off a serious disagreement in your relationship. Love alone won't help to get rid of the problem.
Another issue that love isn't the miraculous cure to is that of social background. "It's ok, we don't need money, we have love..." doesn't cut it, honey....If you're in for a serious relationship, stuff like this is going to matter in the future, and if it doesn't matter now, you're going to have to consider whether you're in a dead-end relationship. Might as well invest in someone you're gonna have a future with right?
When it comes to two people with very different backgrounds, there's always the issue of iferiority. Pride is a very strong emotion, and if one person come from a lower social status than the other, he or she might suffer from feelings that others are looking down on him/her or think that he/she is in it for money. You don't live in 'Pretty Woman'... life is a whole lot easier when you share the same upbringing because then, you would also probably share the same values and thinking.
Lastly, something to note is that your birth order might play a part in your compatibility. If you're the eldest child, you're likely to be more responsible and mature, and probably more sensible as well. The youngest child, on the other hand, is likely to be more fun-loving and perhaps even a little pampered. An only child might be even more pampered, after being used to getting everything he/she wanted from his/her since childhood a mix of two people of different birth orders might lead to clashes in character. Imagine a practical, serious partner being driven crazy by his/her playful partner or vice versa. You should instead look for someone of either the same or similar birth order.
At the end of the day, compatibility still wins.. compatible couples tend to last longer and their relationships grow stronger as they find themselves more and more in their partner with each passing day. So next time you find yourself face-to-face with potential partner, don't fling yourself into it, think of what could come out of it.